1236: What Actually Helps Anxiety? Small Shifts That Calm The Nervous System

Welcome to the anxiety coaches podcast (0:07): Welcome to the anxiety coaches podcast, a relaxing and informative show where we explore anxiety, panic, and PTSD, sharing how you can overcome them for life.

Gina Ryan (0:23): Aloha. Welcome back to the Anxiety Coaches Podcast. I'm your host and coach, Gina Ryan, and I am so happy to be with you again today as together we can consider the many ways to bring your mind and body back to its natural peace and calm. In our last episode, we explored something really important. We looked at what might be making anxiety worse, not in a blaming way, but in a compassionate, curious way.

Gina Ryan (0:58): Because when we understand what's influencing how we feel, we begin to open up space for change. And that space comes from curiosity, from compassion, from having the idea of possibility and hope. And today, I want to continue that conversation, but gently turn towards something many of us are really longing for, what actually helps anxiety. Now, not going to get into overwhelming routines, but small supportive shifts that help your nervous system feel safer, steadier and more at ease. These are ways of living more than fixes.

Gina Ryan (1:55): Right? These are things that we want to be able to just have in our lives, to have healthy, happy lives. So it actually can help you take away that, okay, now I'm gonna fix my anxiety. I'm going to make myself into a less anxious person, and I'm going to live anxiety free because I'm doing these things. What we're actually doing here is not something that's a routine or strategy like that, but more of your life in general.

Gina Ryan (2:32): The small supportive shifts. And I wanna emphasize here how much of a change these can make. We get stuck in thinking if it's not big and grand enough, it's not going to be helpful. But that's not true at all because we got into being anxious by a lot of different things in our lives happening and all coming together at the same time. And we keep ourselves stuck in an anxious loop by some of these things that are detrimental to our health and well-being and feed our anxiety.

Gina Ryan (3:10): But when we remove those, those small things that got us into trouble, they also help us to heal. We'd like to start here with regulation before resolution. And what I mean by that, well, let's just get into it. Let's begin with something that can change everything, and that is a simple understanding. Your body comes first.

Gina Ryan (3:38): So often when we are anxious or highly stressed and anxiety shows up and we think we are going to think our way out of it. That's what we try to do. We analyze it. Right? We get into our head and we question everything.

Gina Ryan (3:55): We try to figure it out. But anxiety is not just a thinking experience. Like I said in the last episode, it is a body state. And when the nervous system is activated, the thinking mind becomes less reliable. This is another reason we can get caught in that endless loop.

Gina Ryan (4:22): When the nervous system is activated, we are not thinking as reliably as we do when we are calm, when we are in a good state. So instead of asking, What's wrong? Or How do I fix this? How do I fix this right now? A more helpful question can be, what would help my body feel a little safer right now?

Gina Ryan (4:51): Because when the body begins to settle, the mind often follows. Now, this isn't like immediate and I want you to not be putting high expectations on it or this is the thing I gotta do now and this is gonna be the thing that changes everything. No. These are just ways of living that are good for you all the way around. Instead of asking, what's wrong?

Gina Ryan (5:25): Check-in and say, what would help my body feel a little safer right now? Because anxious people don't feel safe. They're picking up on things around them or inside them that are not feeling safe. Just a great question to ask yourself. And remember that when the body begins to then settle, the mind often follows.

Gina Ryan (5:49): Then we wanna talk about the power of small, steady rhythms. Think about the rhythms in your life. You know, your nervous system loves predictability. It doesn't need perfection and it's not like it can't handle something out of the norm or something out of the rhythm. No.

Gina Ryan (6:09): That's actually helpful here and there. But it doesn't like chaos, constant chaos. So rather than trying to overhaul your life, let's look at a few small anchors that can make a real difference. Before we begin, let's hear from the sponsors that support the show. Thank you, Air Doctor, for sponsoring today's episode.

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Gina Ryan (7:54): Thanks, Shopify, for sponsoring today's show. You know, starting something new can feel exciting and also a little lonely. I remember wondering if I was doing anything right when I started the podcast. There were so many pieces to figure out. I didn't have Shopify back then, but I wish I had.

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Gina Ryan (9:33): What I love is how flexible it is. Some days, I do a quick lesson. Other days, I listen or practice speaking, and it's all right in the app. Babbel adapts to how you learn best with personalized plans, real time feedback, and progress tracking that keeps you gently moving forward. With over 25,000,000 subscriptions sold and 14 languages to choose from, Babbel is a science backed app that actually works.

Gina Ryan (10:03): Plus, there's a fourteen day money back guarantee. Here's a limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription at babbel.com/acp. The first one would be consistent sleep and wake times. Not perfect, just consistent enough.

Gina Ryan (10:29): I remember back in the day there was a book. It was about parenting. So it must have been when my kids were really little. So this was real, you know, forty some odd years ago. Was called good enough parenting.

Gina Ryan (10:41): So I like to think about life in those good enough terms. You don't need perfection. You need consistent enough. Your sleep and wake times can be consistent enough. Going to bed and waking up around the same time each day tells your body, You are safe.

Gina Ryan (11:04): You can trust this rhythm. Now, maybe you can't sleep through the whole night. Maybe you have trouble falling asleep. But if you can make your bedtime and your getting out of bedtime consistent, you are setting yourself up in a good place because you are telling your body You are safe. You can trust this rhythm.

Gina Ryan (11:29): Because so many things we cannot control, right? So, we have to grab ahold of those things that we can control. And that can be consistent wake and sleep times and eating regularly. Again, we talked briefly about it last episode about not skipping meals. Don't wait until you are starving.

Gina Ryan (11:50): Like I said in the past, I worked many, many, many years with people who had disordered eating. And one of the things that I had so much in common with these people was not the disordered eating piece so much as the fact that they were anxious. And one of the things I was able to help them with is I worked a lot with anorexics. So, by not being hungry, they could actually reduce their anxiety a lot because the idea of your body being hungry is a danger signal inside of you. That tells your nervous system, we gotta stay awake.

Gina Ryan (12:36): We gotta go find food. Sometimes when we skip meals and are hungry, we cannot sleep through the night. I know there's a lot of, different theories of ways to eat out there, and I've worked with people who cannot do the eating everything earlier in the day and then not eating anything before bed, especially as they are healing because their body cannot rest when they are hungry. Their body will not let go. The nervous system will not let go.

Gina Ryan (13:11): So, steady nourishment is equal to steady signals of safety. This is going to be different for each of you. I know this because I've worked in this for so long that I know we're all individual, but you can find your regularity. You can find your way of not being hungry in a way that is sending messages to your nervous system that there is danger, that you need to find food. You can't relax.

Gina Ryan (13:44): It's on high alert. And you may not be even equating the nervous stress with the hunger because often when we make ourselves hungry or we can get into a routine that hunger is a part of. We don't hear the signal of hunger anymore. So you may not be equating those. So just notice, do you have trouble at night falling asleep?

Gina Ryan (14:13): You know, do I not eat after 4PM or something? You might be trying some intermittent fasting or something that is changing your routine up. These are things that could be adding to your stress level. Until you iron it all out, just get into a more steady nourishment so you can have those steady signals of safety. And I know I mentioned hydration last episode too because sometimes the body isn't asking for food, but it's asking for something even more basic, which is hydration.

Gina Ryan (14:50): Water can be a quiet act of support. If you have changed your water intake or you've never even noticed your water intake, this would be a wonderful thing to look at. Am I hydrated enough? The old adage was eight glasses of eight ounces of water a day. Now, again, we're all different sizes.

Gina Ryan (15:15): We're at different stages in our lives. We have different activity levels. And all of that is going to play a part in how much your hydration is taken care of by eight glasses of water a day. So you've gotta find your way. Right?

Gina Ryan (15:31): And one of the ways that you can see how your body is doing is to look at your urine. Look at it. If it's dark or even a dark yellow, you know, you might wanna add some more water. If it's perfectly clear, you might be having too much water. We can take care of some of these things ourselves.

Gina Ryan (15:52): We don't need to have outside help for these things. And check-in with your body. Don't wait for the thirst. If we wait for thirst, we are often already dehydrated. So check your urine.

Gina Ryan (16:04): It might be a good way for you to fine tune your hydration because you may not have even realized that you were a little bit dehydrated and just a little bit more water was sending safety signals to your nervous system. Now, morning light is another one that we can do easily. Getting natural light early in the day helps to regulate your internal clock. Even a few minutes outside can gently tell your system, this is a new day. We're okay.

Gina Ryan (16:40): Just sending that gentle message, It's a new day. We're okay by getting a little bit of light, even standing by a window. Maybe an open window would be even better if you can, but do let yourself have morning light. Now, these are not dramatic changes, but they are foundational. And foundations matter because what I see a lot in anxious people that are, in this day and age, trying to find their way out of the wormhole, so to speak, they are adding a lot of very big complex things onto their already stressed nervous system when they have not already cleared up some of these very basic foundational pieces.

Gina Ryan (17:37): So I just want you to look at that and see if those are some things that you could make changes with. So let's move on now to movement. Movement as release, not pressure. When I'm thinking about movement, I'm thinking about movement because it is one of the most natural ways for your body to process stress. Just a little side note here, I didn't think of this earlier, but another way that your body processes stress is through crying.

Gina Ryan (18:12): And I wanna do an entire episode on that, but I just wanna mention that here because we often think of crying as inappropriate or here I go again or whatever. No, it is your body's way of releasing stress. So let yourself cry along with movement here. Let me get back to my movement. I always get off track.

Gina Ryan (18:38): I could talk off track all day. So movement is one of the natural ways, again, that your body is processing stress. It is releasing some of those stress hormones. But here is where we want to be super gentle because movement is not about pushing or performing or doing it right. It is about release.

Gina Ryan (19:04): I want you to feel that, the release. And I want you to look at it in terms of things like walking, stretching, slow, mindful movement like Tai Chi and Qigong and yoga. Even just standing up and moving your body after sitting for a little while. You're not trying to fix your anxiety here. You're helping your body complete a stress cycle.

Gina Ryan (19:34): So this isn't about pushing and joining a gym today because Gina talked about moving your body and movement. No, this is about the simple, easy ways that you are helping your body complete the stress cycle. You are completing it by doing those small things of walking, stretching, and slow mindful movement. I have a coach that I've worked with over the years. I still go to some of his Zooms that he has.

Gina Ryan (20:04): Every forty minutes, he stops what he's talking about and he will do gentle stretching. He invites everybody to do that and have a mindful movement. And he encourages us all to also have that in our daily life, day in and day out, even when we're just sitting at the desk by ourselves. So, I wonder if you can incorporate this into your day of even gentle sitting stretches when you are sitting at your computer working. It can be incredibly calming.

Gina Ryan (20:43): And speaking of calming, let's talk about creating calming anchors. This is another supportive shift. It's creating small moments in your day that feel like anchors, places where your nervous system can land. It feels safe. It doesn't feel tossed about.

Gina Ryan (21:04): You are anchored. And this could be a quiet cup of warm tea, hot tea, your cup of your favorite decaf coffee, a cup of herbal tea, a cup of decaffeinated green tea. You know, I'm pushing the decaf here. You know that. Another beautiful, calming anchor that is available to most of us is stepping outside for fresh air.

Gina Ryan (21:31): Fresh air is so incredibly calming and gives us an anchor. Just today, I opened up the windows because as right now, I'm in the Northeast right now, and it's been cold for a very long time. And I opened up the windows just to let everything breathe. Let's let that fresh air in. And even better will be when I step outside and can breathe the fresh air, see the bright light, and actually move my body on a gentle walk.

Gina Ryan (22:06): Another calming anchor that you can do no matter where you are is a few slow breaths. Put your hand on your heart if that's appropriate and take a few of those slow breaths. Another one would be sitting in stillness for a minute before starting something new. Your body and mind will anchor in this stillness. Because often when we're anxious, we are running.

Gina Ryan (22:36): I call it running from the devil. You're always busy. You're always on. You're always moving. Gotta go to the next thing.

Gina Ryan (22:43): Gotta do the next thing. Your body and mind are craving stillness. And it doesn't have to be for long. Set your timer for one minute in between tasks. Take that one minute.

Gina Ryan (22:58): This just has to be intentional. It doesn't have to be complicated. And over time, these little anchors become signals of safety. And I know you can think up your own. So do write in and let us know what you found are your favorite anchors.

Gina Ryan (23:18): We also want to reduce the input that is coming into us. And we want to do this gently. We're in a world where we're constantly taking things in. We are consuming constantly. We are consuming information all the time.

Gina Ryan (23:37): We are taking in noise, opinions, stress. And for a sensitive nervous system, this can be a lot. So one of the kindest things you can do is gently reduce the input that you are getting day in, out. Not eliminating everything, just soften it. Maybe it's a little less scrolling.

Gina Ryan (24:02): Maybe it's a little less news. Maybe it's a little more quiet. This isn't about avoidance. This isn't about putting your head in the sand. It's about giving your nervous system the space to breathe so it can actually handle what is going on out there around all of us.

Gina Ryan (24:25): And now I want to move into having you look at your support. Being supported, not isolated. A powerful support is connection. Anxiety can make us want to pull inward, I get that, To handle everything ourselves. And a lot of people who are anxious already on the side of being more introverted than extroverted.

Gina Ryan (24:54): And so you naturally pull inward. It doesn't feel weird to you, and we wanna handle everything ourselves. But we are not meant to regulate all of our lives all day, everything alone. Sometimes what can help is talking to someone that you trust. You don't have to talk to them all the time, but just checking in here and there throughout the week or sitting with someone who feels safe.

Gina Ryan (25:21): Being in a space where you don't have to explain yourself. Having the kind of support that is true to you, there is something very deeply regulating about that, about not being alone in how you feel. And I know in this world, a lot of people don't have that support. And so if you find yourself in that situation where you haven't found that support easily quite yet, you will eventually over time, I believe. But if you need some help along the way, join us in our Facebook group in the mini membership or join us on the Facebook group and the calls, the Zoom calls every other week by joining the full membership.

Gina Ryan (26:10): Go to the website if you wanna find out more about that. We'd love to have you. We're there to help you and to be supportive with you and to have you not need to isolate. And I'd also like to talk here about speaking to yourself differently. You know, this is one of the most important shifts that we can make is how we talk to ourselves.

Gina Ryan (26:33): If your inner voice is harsh or demanding or critical, your nervous system hears that as pressure, as a threat. When you begin to speak to yourself more gently, something changes. Instead of, why am I like this? You might try, this is a moment of anxiety or this is a moment of stress, and I can support myself through it. You can be your support.

Gina Ryan (27:07): Instead of needing to go to the kind of verbalization of I need this to stop right now, you might try, this feels uncomfortable right now, but I am safe. This isn't about forcing positivity. It's about offering your system a different tone And tone matters. Your nervous system is especially sensitive to tone. So, let's bring this all together now with a simple reflection.

Gina Ryan (27:41): Not a list of everything that you need to change, just a gentle check-in. Ask yourself, what are two or three small things that help me feel a little more steady? And then, can I let those be enough for now? Because healing doesn't come from doing everything. It comes from doing a few things with consistency and kindness.

Gina Ryan (28:12): Anxiety doesn't require a complete life overhaul. It often responds to something much simpler: support, rhythm, gentleness, care. Your nervous system is always listening. It listens to how you treat your body, your time, and yourself, and every small act of support is a message. We're okay.

Unknown Speaker (28:42): You're safe. I've got you. And now for today's quote. Little by little, a little becomes a lot, and that's a Tanzanian proverb. I'll be back in a few more days with another podcast.

Unknown Speaker (29:04): Until then, be well and aloha.

Welcome to the anxiety coaches podcast (29:09): Thanks so much for joining us for today's episode of the anxiety coaches podcast. Find more information at the anxietycoachespodcast.com.